-says the line of barricades blocking the forest road to work one damp afternoon. Snap decision time: be fired for showing up late a 3rd time in the same month due to unanticipated water disasters, or cross the fucking barricade ( Read more... )

So I live in the woods now. People commonly associate the woods with trees; this is false. Everything in the woods is bugs. Anything in the woods resembling a tree is just a shape taken by bugs to fool you. Downstairs, when you turn on the lights at night, you will see the floor blanketed in enormous black crickets and smaller, long-legged weta ( Read more... )

Sitting at my desk streaming some television. From outside, I hear a noise:

KCHAKK!!

I remember that sound!

I look out my window, and sure enough there are two cars in a head-on collision at the intersection. They hit each others' right front corners, so one of them was way in the wrong lane, and had to be on their way to the sidewalk. Both ( Read more... )

I came home from work the other night at around 11pm, on the bike, passing a whole lot of police cruisers and a line of flares blocking off a tow truck carrying an SUV. This is not unusual; mine is the route where drivers commonly do not feel the need to, say, pull out of traffic first to park and exit their cars, or in any way check for oncoming ( Read more... )

I was woken up this morning by a familiar noise.

"SHHHIIIIIIIIIIIR KA-CHUNK!"

I stepped outside. A gentle moisture covered the streets. No explanation needed…


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God was out for blood today, as he often is. Ill omens hung in the air as I made my rounds looking for dandelions to feed Lizard the lizard. The shattered top of a pickup truck lay mysteriously upside down in the middle of the sidewalk, and traffic was the worst I'd ever seen for our street. At the intersection ahead all the lights were blinking ( Read more... )

What an uninspiring few weeks it's been. For many a night I've sat in front of a blank page, reviewing the tedium and none-of-your-damn-businessium, wondering what of interest I could possibly mention.

And then stuff exploded.


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It's always good when you turn on the news and the weather man says "I've never seen this before". The diabolical clouds, thought previously to have been on the retreat, have cunningly flanked California and redoubled their attack in the form of another week-long thunderstorm, making this "the wettest year in California ever". "Level 5" this, " ( Read more... )

I'm back. I had planned to start this update with "no, I haven't been killed in traffic", but... well, you'll see the irony of that in a moment. Numerous time sinks, some of them holiday related, have surfaced in recent weeks, and as a result LJ has fallen into the "non-essential chores" category on my list of priorities, the rank just below "sleep ( Read more... )

Another metal carcass has been sacrificed just down the block from the insatiable beast that is the Devil's Intersection, a.k.a. Viktoridesotos the Untraversable. When will man learn not to meddle with cosmic transportational evil?

( pic )